One for the Fallen

Let’s talk about something that makes my stomach turn to think about and my heart pound to share about. It’s not something that consumes my thoughts but it is something that needs to be talked about. Let’s talk about death. It is something as a fire wife that is always lurking around the corner, always ready to remind you of it’s presence. It is something that when it happens to another brother or sister in the fire family I cannot help but weep and my heart cannot help but ache.

No one is above dying. But to have a husband whose career makes the risk of that happening increased and closer is a hard pill to swallow. The big “C” is a HUGE percentage higher as a firefighter then the average person. There are steps and precautions in place but that percentage is still much higher. I think I read somewhere the average person has a 22% risk to where a firefighter has a 68% risk or something like that. Of course there are other means of death then just cancer. Their careers are full of ever present danger. Even if it’s a death that happens at home the whole fire family suffers.

Recently my husband lost someone who he sat next to in his academies, had dinner with after trainings, and who was in the occasional group text with. They were not best friends but they shared time, memories, comradery. We have pictures of them walking in line together during academy graduation. My husband suffered a loss. The fire family suffered a loss. But the family who lost this young man suffered the greatest loss of all. When my husband came home after his shift when he found out this horrible news. All we could do was lay there in silence, holding each other letting the heaviness of it sit and silently mourn and pray over this great loss.

It’s easy to get loss in the what ifs. But we must not let those who lose their lives, lose them in vain. We press on and let their lives be a reminder of why we do what we do. Not as individuals but as a family. As a fire family, as husband and wife, father and mother, as fireman and fire wife. We hold our fireman a little closer, cherish those family times a little more and make sure we forgive quickly and love selflessly. I mourn with you ladies who have lost their loved ones, I pray for you and your families. Peace, hope, comfort, and strength. The burden you carry is not one I can fathom. I am silently mourning with you for I know not any one person is above having to carry that cross. This one is for the fallen. For their families and loved ones.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.                   Philippians 4:7

cal fire

3 thoughts on “One for the Fallen

  1. Every time I read your words I am so moved. You are not only a gifted writer but also anointed to share the love of God and a ray of hope. You communicate reality as it is and truth that reaches the heart. Thank you for your blog please don’t ever stop.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Abi, you would never know someone’s walk and experiences by looking at them. I am first to say. Some days are hard for me as well. It definitely takes a different kind of wife to be a firefighters wife. I wouldn’t change my life for a million others. You have become such a beautiful mother and strong wife. We always knew you would be.


  3. I did not know this but I just looked it up and it says a 9% increase in diagnosis and a 14% increase in death from cancer. From breathing in weird fumes? I don’t know. But gosh, I’d never considered that before. Thanks for brining it up.


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