It’s not a secret that some find first responders or military families to be some of the strongest people they know. But that does not mean there are not moments of weakness. Some of the strongest people I know came from a place where they were weak at a point. This right now is for you as much as it is for me.
This past week was like this crazy emotional roller coaster for me. With my husband coming back home and going straight into his next shift, I found myself so excited and yet so exhausted at the same time. I was trying to wrap my head around all the changes. My two-year old discovered tantrums and lost interest in naps and waking up multiple times at night. My five-year old decided playing with her sister was not fun and didn’t want her to touch anything of hers. I found myself playing referee and constantly feeling like I didn’t know how to handle any of it. I needed a breath a moment to sort through all the emotions and think straight. I needed strength to make it through. I found myself feeling weak and not up to the task of calming the storm of motherhood.
So, I made a choice that flipped that whole day around. One I had been neglecting in all honesty lately. I had the girls lay down and whether they fell asleep or not for a nap was up to them. I needed a moment so I went into the front yard and I stood there and I prayed and gave it all up to God. I prayed. The simplest thing that you would think how as a Christian could I forget to do. It happens, in a life of a mother when your brain is always on and never for yourself. By some miracle both girls fell asleep and I got a much-needed moment to sit there and breathe. I found strength enough to make a plan for the rest of that day. The girls woke up and I planned a picnic in our front yard. I told myself to workout while they ate because maybe it would help alleviate some stress of feeling like I failed. And the most beautiful thing happened during that workout. My girls worked as a team and decided to pick flowers and bring them to me one at a time. Decorating my workout area. I felt so blessed in the middle of my mess of a day. My heart went from not being able to handle that day to overflowing with gratitude for the blessings I had. And that is when I felt strong. Fully relying on God, thankful, I was mentally and physically renewed.
If you’re feeling like you cannot handle the things life is throwing at you little or big, know you’re never alone in the battle of finding strength. When you feel like there’s no one to call at the very moment you feel like throwing in the towel, pray. Sometimes it can turn your whole day around.
“I lift my eyes to the mountains–
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2 NIV