Sometimes as wives and moms we can get a little overwhelmed. This is especially true as a fire wife. The desire to get a moment to yourself or a moment to get something done can be sometimes impossible. There was a time when both my husband and I had long hard days while he was gone on shift. When he got home I began to realize we both had our desire to want to let a load off and just have a moment to relax. When I found myself getting frustrated in those moments where we both needed a break I realized something had to give. This is when I thought up the 24 hour rule.
Now I know every person and relationship is different so I will not pretend this is a fix all. Some things work for some but not others. But this is something I have found to help me and my husband. When he was commuting his long 6 1/2+ hour drive he would come home just wanting to understandably relax and unwind. I found myself wanting his attention because to be honest I had two little girls that 90% of the conversations we had that week was about wiping noses or butts, Barbie’s, animals, who hit who first and the majority was probably about SNACKS. So, I also really wanted a moment to relax and unwind. I knew nagging and getting frustrated at my husband would not get us anywhere but into an unneeded argument. So, instead I began to try something new. For the next “24” hours or so I let him do whatever he needed to do, whether it was sat in the recliner and nap, watch a show, stare at his phone, or whatever. Now to be clear this is something I just did and didn’t ever tell him of my idea. Never said you have this time, I made no expectations or verbal comments about it. And eventually what began to happen was we enjoyed our time together more. We both started getting our breaks. I think for me it was the fact that I just chose to let go of my expectations of what I needed. And I turned my focus into how can I help my husband and figure out what he needed.
This is something I began to realize helped all of my relationships. Whether it be my husband, family or friends. I ask myself how can I show love to them even if I don’t feel like it. And I have seen it work out in some pretty awesome ways. So, I want to encourage my fellow wives fire or not to lay down your expectations of your husband when he gets home and ask yourself how can I love him better. I know there are times when it is SOOOO much easier said then done when we are at our wits end. But just maybe showing love in that moment would be all it takes and don’t be afraid to communicate. And husbands fire or not I also want to encourage you to consider the things your wife has gone through this past week or shift and give her your undivided attention or the much needed break. She goes through a lot and doesn’t have a co-worker ready to help her in those moments of frustration and fatigue. Like I said this may not work well for everyone but find something that does, because I know life and especially the fire life can be hard. But it is so much better when you work together.
“…And in all your getting, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7
One thought on “My 24 Hour Rule”
Now why did you go and say that! Just when I thought I could manipulate and whine for some me time, you go and get unselfish. I love that you always bring out real things that make me search my heart and become better. Thank you for your candidness and for the love you show not only to your family but to others by sharing your heart.
Always enjoy your blogs.