While out running errands today I was asked a question that kind of made me pause. It got me really thinking about my answer. I was wearing a Cal Fire breast cancer shirt so was asked about it and turns out their son was also a firefighter, who I actually knew. The question that came though was this “how do you like being married to a firefighter?” I was quick to answer that I loved it and it was great. Not really thinking about what exactly they were asking. In my head I was thinking about my husband and our marriage not necessarily about the Fire part of it. My answer should have been, I love being married to my husband but being married to a firefighter is not easy and definitely has its faults.
It’s easy to throw those subjects into the same category but really they’re different. My marriage is good and I love it. Not because my husband is a firefighter but, because he is a good man and I fell in love with him far before he was a firefighter. We learned about each other and what makes the other person tick. How they feel and think when certain situations present themselves. We both have a servants heart for each other as well as other people. These things may coexist with the fire scene. But that is because they’re embedded in who we are as people. We live in a way of you’re first and I am second. Though like all humans we sometimes fall short. We forgive easily and keep our communication open and fluid. So, yes I love being married to my husband.
So, how do I love being married to a firefighter. Like many times before I have talked about there are many ups and downs to it. It’s great because he is doing something that as a wife I am beyond proud of. But in order to do so it sacrifices the time away from each other. There are lots of missed birthdays, holidays, graduations, and many missed first of our children’s milestones. The ER visits, home repairs, running a home in general and being an only parent at times and all the things that come with that. Being married to a firefighter means willing to say goodbye week after week and always carrying that it could have been the last time you said goodbye. If I was guaranteed that he would come back every single time and never get hurt. Then yes, my outlook might shift a little. But that’s not our reality.
So, to be honest I am not sure how I like being married to a firefighter but like I said before I do know that I love being married to my husband. And that’s what gets us through the lifestyle of being firefighter and fire wife. And I wouldn’t change us for anything.