Today marks the 12th year my husband Josh and I started dating! In honor of that I thought it would be fun to do a little interview with him. Some of the questions were sent in from my social media pages. We will pretty much be covering everything from dating to now, fatherhood, motherhood and of course the fire life. I am sure some of these answers will be relatable for our fire family readers.
Questions for Josh…
Q: How long have you been in the fire service?
A: As a paid professional since 2008 but did an explorer program and volunteered before then.
Q: What helps you the most stay connected to the family when on shift?
A: Daily phone calls or FaceTiming.
Q: How do you handle fatherhood, and being a present husband and dad when you get home from shift and are completely depleted physically and emotionally?
A: It is a weekly battle that varies depending on the shift or what is going on in our personal lives. Routine helps with my decompression, for example…listening to music on the way home, working out, and knowing what is on the schedule when I get home and not being surprised with anything. The hardest part is being open when I’m having a rough day. Most of the time I fail at this, and is the root cause of most conflicts we have as a couple. I am hard headed and believe hard work can fix almost anything, so I usually find my self powering through the day with what the family’s got going on. Doesn’t make sense for my family to sacrifice anymore time away from me. I honestly try to detach from work and consciously tell myself what I need to do, and what person my family needs when I get home…..A weekly struggle, if not daily.
Q: Does it make it easier or harder on you when you get pictures of your wife and kids having fun while you are on shift?
A: Depends on the situation, picture or moment I’m missing. I’m to the point in my career where I don’t feel like the family should miss anything because I am not there. Like with almost anything else it’s situation dependent.
Q: Best marriage advice?
A: Compromise for everything! Try and take your ego out of the equation and be a couple that loves each other. Life’s not perfect (I constantly have to tell myself to not try and make it perfect). Just go with the flow and be thankful.
Questions for me…
Q: Sometimes when my husband is going on shift we get into a really good routine and then dad comes home and that routine is blown to smithereens LOL! How do you do it? Do you just make sure you stay consistent with your routine or do you adjust when dad gets home?
A: For us and our life style routine helps so much! Especially so with kids. I like to know I am giving my children something consistent in their lives because the fire life is anything but that! My husband does a pretty good job at respecting the routine we both established. For example for us, dinner starts getting cooked at 4, every other night is bath night, bedtime is at 7. It makes it nice when he comes home to know what to expect. But I am not above the kids staying up if he is running late and isn’t home until 7:30 to let the kids see him. That’s their dad and he deserves every opportunity to be in their lives especially because he is giving everything for us. So, long answer shorter yes on the routine and yes to being flexible. Relationship over routine.
Q: Best marriage advice?
A: Have a servants heart. I know a lot might not agree but putting my husband and my children’s needs above my own is something I strive to always do. I totally believe in self care as well as being selfless. Most importantly constantly praying over my marriage, be willing to compromise and always keep communication a priority. Learn how you and your husband gives and receives love. And never stop dating.
Q: How do you handle being around other couples when you’re missing your husband?
A: Depends on how hard of a time I am having. Usually I try to surround myself with people who understand and respect our lifestyle. But sometimes I also will avoid those situations because having to explain details about the fire life, husbands schedule, where he is at can be overwhelming sometimes, depending on who is asking. I think it’s okay and healthy though to miss my husband. After all he’s my best friend.
So, there you have it. A short and sweet little interview between us. Life can be hard and get messy especially when you’re living the fire life. But finding what works best for you and your spouse is vital. These are the things that work and don’t work for us, the things we go through and work on as a couple. There will always be amazing days and hard days in any given situation but its how you handle those things that is key. I love my husband more every day and am proud to be able to say that. I have a really good man and if 12 years is only the tip of the ice berg. I hope you continue to journey with us through our fire life. Every season is different and brings new challenges and new victories. Looking forward to sharing them all with you!