Some time ago probably around the time I had my first daughter who is now six, I battled with the fear of being alone and at home by myself. It is something as fire wives or those that live with their firefighter can relate to. Those times can be rough. The learning process of having confidence and knowing we are capable even when the night comes can be tested. It was a true struggle of mine for a while. I stressed about how I would protect me and my child. I had a hundred different plans of what I would do if I was faced with something. These plans are not a bad idea don’t get me wrong but the difference between a fear driven plan and a plan made with confidence and logic is huge. I would allow myself to create these fictional stories, that let’s face it, had a much higher chance of not happening then actually happening. I allowed the worry and fear to cloud my judgment. These times can be hard especially when our firefighters are gone for long stents of time.
So, while I was fine during the day and hardly thought about the night or all these unrealistic plans. I was going on living my day to day life. Part of my daily life was attending bible studies. It was during one of these times that my heart and mindset changed. I believe it was a day where at the Bible study they were pampering the moms. One of the first things they had us do was pick a rose and on each rose was a message. I was worried I was going to get something that I had no idea what the meaning was about. So, I prayed God would give me something I needed to hear. I quickly picked the rose without pre-reading it. And right then and there I almost cried. The message I read on my rose was “You Are Protected.” In the middle of the struggling at night all that fear began to lift and I knew in my heart that I was in fact “protected”. Although the rose eventually died I have this little message written on a brown paper with it’s string still. It has always sat on my kitchen window where I spend a lot of time. It still remains there giving me that sweet reminder when it is needed.
You may be thinking that is great but not really helpful. I understand it was something that happened to me and may have been something that was meant just for me. But I don’t think that’s true. I take it as a lesson that anyone can learn from. I was so wrapped up in fear it took a simple little message to make me realize I needed to let that fear go. I needed to make that mental choice to say it is all going to be okay. And none of these crazy fears were something I should allow to run my life. We have the normal precautions in place, the alarm system, two giant dogs, smoke detectors in ever room, etc. They help give a peace of mind. But so does choosing the mind set of, if something is going to happen to my firefighter or my family then we will deal with it when it comes. Not allowing myself to dwell on or worry about it obsessively. Many times when something has happened that I have had to face I can see how small that problem was in hind site. I can look back now and think, “I made it through that,” and a lot of times I will follow up with the thought “why was I so worried?” It gives me confidence for the future that when things such as fear present themselves before me I can dismiss it because I have the confidence I didn’t have before. That shift and change in mind set is so huge. Why worry about something that hasn’t happened and let it steal the enjoyment of my life now. So, I pass this little brown message on to you, take it for yourself if it applies. But I truly believe it was meant to be shared and imparted to someone else. YOU ARE PROTECTED. You are stronger and smarter then you know. Don’t allow fear to cloud that and worry to steal your joy. Hold onto the confidence that YOU GOT THIS and leave everything else to worry about itself.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”