Defensible Space

It’s a saying us fire fam folk know all too well. The preparation of the area around us being safe from any possible fire danger. We post it and we preach it because as much as we want the public safe we selfishly want our firefighters even more safe. Your safe clearing around your home means less danger for our loved ones. But what happens when that defensible space goes from 100ft to 6ft? Life gets real. And you’re probably assuming about now that I am not exactly talking fire anymore, but what the world is experiencing. The pandemic of COVID-19.

Looking through old pictures lately has made my mind drift to a future time when I will be looking back on the now. What is going to be the memories that pop up and what will my life have looked like? The present state at which we are in is shaking families and society to its core. Like a rug that was swept from under our feet. The last few weeks have been very trying and exhausting and has me not knowing what to expect. During the first week of having to stay home and also create the new defensible space around us to 6ft started off great! My oldest had to stay home from school which was going to be a few weeks, no big deal. So I set up a schedule trying to keep my sanity and my schedule driven life in check.

The new schedule. Snacks were definitely necessary to schedule because it was getting a little crazy up in here. Haha

But the weekend came and things got a little scary. My youngest swallowed a coin and we at first thought she would be fine but only 2 hours later realized we were wrong. She was in a lot of pain to the point she couldn’t use her words and could only cry. The ER was the last place I expected to end up at, but we did. After X-rays we then had to be transferred to another hospital to get the coin removed that was lodged in her esophagus. Not one but two hospitals, and an ambulance ride, yikes, it was more stressful then I would like. After getting to the new hospital we were waiting to get a second X-ray. Before we could my daughter started throwing up. After cleaning her and me up, I noticed she seemed a lot happier and I already knew when we went to get the second X-ray what the results were. The coin had moved and we thankfully avoided surgery. We had to wait a week to see if she would pass it or not before a follow up X-ray. A couple side notes: carbonated beverages were used and recommended to help try and dislodge the coin. And during COVID-19 only one parent is allowed to be with their child. So, the fact my husband was actually home for this one made that rule extremely hard. He sat in the car and was updated via phone. After a full 8 days she finally passed the coin. And I felt myself breathing a little easier.

After that week was past my husband went back to work. And then he came home from shift sick. My mind was freaking out and not sure what it meant. Like what the actual heck is all I could think at this point. Luckily we had talked and planned for this possibility. Because as a fire fam we have to be prepared for the hard things. So, we followed our plan. But after a few days he was symptom free and we knew it wasn’t COVID. Thank God! He kept in communication with his boss and was okayed to come back to work. And during all of this going on our non profit had to postpone our event we have been working on for almost a year. My emotions were a little all over the place to say the least and I was grasping on any positivity I could. Knowing full well there were many out there who had it much worse then me. And as far as the nonprofit we are keeping up the positive morale and participating in some positivity online via lives and zoom calls and supporting out direct community. Doing positive things has helped keep my spirit up and encouraged me I am doing what I was called to do.

What life kind of feels like sometimes.
But there’s always that feeling of accomplishment when the big picture comes together.

Juggling the homeschooling life, mom life, COVID-19, and oh yeah the fire life hasn’t been exactly a walk in the park. Pretty much 90% of things have even gone semi ok. Not everything has been bad and there have been several moments where my heart has been full. But thinking of the future when I get to look back at this all I know I will be able to remember it was a time for growth and a time where I had to dig deep to not allow myself to get swallowed up by my circumstances. A time when I stopped to really reflect on things and truly consider myself and my own resiliency. And how to help others in their darkest of times. This pandemic still isn’t over but I wanted to stop and share from a place where I know it is easy to have everything around us seem like it’s falling apart and hopeless. But it is not. We may come out of this bruised and scared and unfortunately some may not come out at all. But I know with all I am there is always hope. And I am going to cling to that hope. And I want to gift that to you too. Whether you’re rocking this time of life or not remember that there is a light at the end and I cannot wait to look back and share stories of remember when. I am not sure what tomorrow or the next day may bring but that’s okay knowing what I have been through in the past gives the strength to endure my today and tomorrow. Until then stay home when possible, stay safe and keep your defensible 6ft space.

And speaking of defensible space…

On a funnier side of things can we all remember to work on our real defensible space? I mean the fire defensible space because that time of year is just around the corner. And I am pretty sure right now we may have some time to get it done. 😉 Us fire families appreciate it.

Published by confessionsofafirefighterwife

Firefighter wife, mama, and Christian. Sharing the struggles, blessings, good, bad and everything in between.

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