This feature blog is a little different then the rest. This time I was asked to do an honest review of a product: Firewipes. They reached out towards the end of September wanting to know if I would be willing to give an honest review of their wipes. They sent out their samples in November. I wanted to give enough time to really use them in different ways before compiling what would be my review.

For anyone who may not be familiar with Firewipes let me give you a little info. Firefighters face many dangerous situations but one that is finally getting some recognition is, the danger of contracting cancer. The risk is significantly higher in firefighters then in your average person. Almost 68% higher. If you think about all the different types of burning materials they are coming in contact with, it only makes sense that between breathing it in or it getting on their skin that the risk would go up. The skin is one of the biggest organs and what you put on it gets absorbed into the blood stream. Especially when the firefighter are working hard and sweating those pores are going to be nice and open. It can be hours to almost a whole day if not longer before a firefighter is able to take a shower after a call. This leaves the soot and dirt on their skin being absorbed the whole time. What fire wipes created are these individually wrapped cleansing wipes that firefighters can grab and use to wipe off with after being on and even during these fires. They’re not a cure but they are helping by cutting down the risk of contracting cancer.

When asked to give an honest review I probably became more sensitive and analytical of the product compared to if I would have just went out and bought it. And in this instance I believe it only helped. I instantly went to the ingredients label and went down the list googling each ingredient. Now, I do not claim to be a scientist or any kind of expert in researching ingredients, but I did what I would do when researching and looking closer at a product to see if it is something I would use. Especially when it comes to possibly using the product on my kids. After reviewing the product ingredients I was impressed and okay with using and trying it on myself and my children. I also compared the ingredients to Sensitive Skin Wet Ones and was way more impressed with the Firewipe ingredients. I also like the fact that they are alcohol, latex, MI, Paraben, and SLS free. And since they’re hypoallergenic and fragrance free I could even use them on my daughter who has sensitive skin and eczema.

When I opened the first package and checked out the wipe my first thought was they smelt very clean. They reminded me of these bath wipes the hospital sent me home with after having my oldest daughter. The texture of them has like a waffle or checkered type pattern on one side and smoother on the other. I wiped my hands down and they felt very clean after.

My next step was figuring out what would I as a fire wife use these wipes for??? The packets are small enough to slip a few into a purse or diaper bag. Even in the glove box of the car. Or even a Christmas stocking (wink wink). They’re easy to grab for a quick wipe down. As a mom I do not know how many times I wish I had a wipe to clean my kids hands or faces. So, I did a test on my kids faces before bed for a last-minute wipe down. It cleaned them well and did a great job. Added bonus my girls loved using all the boxes as building blocks. haha

But the part that completely sold me was when I used them on our wood stove. I knew I could trust the product especially when it came to helping my husband wipe down after a structure or wildland fire. In our house the wood stove is the only source of heat and since my husband isn’t always home, I am making the fires and cleaning the ash out. They were the perfect thing to keep close by. If you ever have dealt with a fireplace or wood burning stove it is almost impossible to not get soot on your hands.

This was a great use for them. Our wood stove has a glass door and I have always struggled with finding something to really clean it with. I have used essential oils to a chemical spray “guaranteed” to get off the build up. It still took me about 30 minutes to get the glass clean and when I used this cleaner I had to wear gloves and was always creeped out by the warning labels. When it came time to clean the glass door I thought, “I should try the fire wipes!” I was totally blown away!!! One wipe and it was taking it off! What took me a good scrubbing and repeat spraying of the sketchy spray took two minutes with a single fire wipe! I did use a paper towel to dry behind it and pick up any streaks. But for me this was a big deal. I was able to visually see how these fire wipes were wiping away the carcinogens and thought of my husband. How if he were to use them I could trust they were really working on cleaning him and helping his chances of beating his odds.

The timing was a little hard for my husband to do his part and test them out. He was in an academy and then went straight to a week of vacation. The first day back on shift though he was called to a house fire which he worked as interior attack. It was pouring down rain that day and it still was hot, sweaty and filled with nasty smoke and grime. Since it was his first day on he hadn’t had the chance to throw the firewipes I had sent him with in the engine yet. He was on that fire for over six hours salavging and overhauling the strucuture. After getting back to the station he was able to wipe down real quick while deconning and cleaning the equipment. He liked how clean they made him feel. The wipes were able to clean off what would normally sit on his skin for another couple of hours. He mentioned the wipes took soot off of his skin that normal soap was not able to. They were not too rough on his skin either. He definitely approved. On his off hours he loves to ride his dirt bike and we actually joke about our ranchette being a ranch of moto and not necessarily an animal ranch. He is a hands on guy and will often work on our vehicles/bike. After working on them he is always coming in the house using the dish soap to scrub his hands with. They’re still usually discolored. I plan on keeping a box of wipes in the garage where he can use them to clean up with.

As a fire wife I know how stressful it can be worrying about everything our fireman are breathing in and absorbing in their skin. The higher risk of cancer and the lack of things available to help with that. I know that this is starting to change. There are more and more firefighter owned companies coming out with ways to help. There is a good handful that I know of. Firewipes is one. I came into this review thinking I would find something for sure that I didnt like or to say I wasn’t impressed with. I can honestly say that wasn’t the case. Firewipes proved my skeptical mind wrong and I definitely would highly recommend them. Their link will be posted on my homepage for you to check out their information, story and products. Try them out for yourself.

Season Past

I decided to take a note from the Christmas Carole and do a three-part series which I will be posting over the next few weeks.  I will be covering my Seasons Past, Seasons Present and Seasons Future. I am pretty sure by the story line and the titles you can figure out what each one will be about. Well for the most part.

Let me take you back to the first season I ever experienced. It was 2008 and my husband (then my boyfriend) was starting off with the Forest Service. I was nervous because this was something that I wasn’t sure I was equipped for. We had this talk before he ever joined that nearly ended us because I didn’t think I could handle being with a firefighter. But decided to stick it out and see what happened. We had been dating a little over a year. We talked about the different avenues of Forestry and agreed he wouldn’t ever join the Hotshots or any other extreme branch. I wasn’t ready for it and there was this joke about it being girlfriend suicide because you wont ever see each other. So, with that he began on a Forest Service Engine.

During this time I was at the end of my first year of college. I was also working as a sub mail carrier delivering mail. I will never forget the day that changed it all. I had a person on the mail route who was disabled so his mail box was down his driveway. As I pulled down that driveway I noticed this customer lying on the ground in their driveway. I of course jumped out calling out his name and asking if he was okay. As I got closer it hit me like a brick wall. The smell of death. I then began to notice all the other things I initially didn’t. There were flies and body fluids. I ran to the neighbor’s house and called 911. I was a mess of emotions and was processing everything still. I was in the middle of the route and had to finish it. I couldn’t wait to get home and just cry over this man.

On that same day there was a meeting about what would be happening to my husbands engine. He had only been working a month on the engine and some things had happened that was causing the firefighters of that engine to be possibly sent elsewhere. Josh had found out what took place on the mail route and came straight over after work and tried to help me feel better. In an effort to get my mind off of what happened to me I asked him about his meeting and how it went. I wish I would have waited. He told me that the engine was being shut down and he had a choice of going to the Hotshots or no job at all. The obvious happened. He was going to the Hotshots aka girlfriend suicide. I started crying all over again. It was to date one of the hardest days I have had.

The season was set up to be just as crazy. Back then there wasn’t Facetime or Iphones. We had razor flip phones. There would be times when he was the only one to have cellphone service so it became the crew payphone. This made our conversations short. But we were lucky to have those times. Because there were other times when I didn’t hear from him for weeks not knowing where he was or if he was safe. I remember one night he called me after not hearing from him for two weeks. He said he was going home for the night but would have to go back in the morning. I was about an hour and a half away and drove to see him. There were other times when he would tell me stories about waking up to his sleeping bag having ice, or ants being all over them. So much happened during this season. I began learning how to research what fires were happening and started to keep track. In an effort to feel like a part of what he was doing I printed out stats of every fire he went on. I organized them by date and put them into a binder. At the end of the season I gave him the binder full of all of these fires he went on. This first season you could say for me was baptism by fire. I knew he loved every minute of it and found something that fed his passion. After this season I knew I was in this for the long haul.

We ended up talking about our future a little bit and where we saw his career going. It was a very hard decision, but one we finally agreed on. This choice we made would be the best fit for us. He would then begin his pursuit of a Cal Fire career.

Pictures from the season that started it all.

What’s a Tradition?

It is Thanksgiving eve and as I sit here thinking of all the Thanksgivings past. I have realized every year has been different. When you’re married to a firefighter it can be that way. Sometimes plans are ruined and sometimes they work out great. And to be quite honest the last time I remember having any tradition was before my husband was a firefighter up to his first couple of years when he was laid off as a seasonal. But gradually seasons got longer or there were times I was working and couldn’t get the time off. There were years I did it alone. But oddly enough I have never been to the fire station on Thanksgiving. It never has dawned on me until today.

As the holidays have approached it is easy to be concerned about plans working out or wanting our fireman home. I am definitely one who lives and breathes keeping traditions and have a hard time when holidays have to be celebrated on a different day. But I am learning. Ten years of it and you would think I would be good at it. Between now and February we have Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, our Anniversary, both of our daughter’s birthdays, and my birthday. It can easily get overwhelming especially with all the hustle and bustle that comes with the holidays.

So, with this holiday season I have made a mental choice to prepare myself more. To be okay if he isn’t able to come home unexpected or not. To celebrate the time spent together and not dwell on the time apart. To give my girls the best of a tradition of each occasion as I can. To teach them in a way not having a tradition can be a tradition too. And hope when they grow up they will be more equipped to roll with the punches and remember the importance of time spent well.

So, to all my fire families remember to hold onto the love of each other and not get caught up in the disappointments of missed holidays or messed up plans. Be thankful for the time that is given to you and spend it making memories and traditions of your own.

Always be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

Married to a Firefighter

While out running errands today I was asked a question that kind of made me pause. It got me really thinking about my answer. I was wearing a Cal Fire breast cancer shirt so was asked about it and turns out their son was also a firefighter, who I actually knew. The question that came though was this “how do you like being married to a firefighter?” I was quick to answer that I loved it and it was great. Not really thinking about what exactly they were asking. In my head I was thinking about my husband and our marriage not necessarily about the Fire part of it. My answer should have been, I love being married to my husband but being married to a firefighter is not easy and definitely has its faults.

It’s easy to throw those subjects into the same category but really they’re different. My marriage is good and I love it. Not because my husband is a firefighter but, because he is a good man and I fell in love with him far before he was a firefighter. We learned about each other and what makes the other person tick. How they feel and think when certain situations present themselves. We both have a servants heart for each other as well as other people. These things may coexist with the fire scene. But that is because they’re embedded in who we are as people. We live in a way of you’re first and I am second. Though like all humans we sometimes fall short. We forgive easily and keep our communication open and fluid. So, yes I love being married to my husband.

So, how do I love being married to a firefighter. Like many times before I have talked about there are many ups and downs to it. It’s great because he is doing something that as a wife I am beyond proud of. But in order to do so it sacrifices the time away from each other. There are lots of missed birthdays, holidays, graduations, and many missed first of our children’s milestones. The ER visits, home repairs, running a home in general and being an only parent at times and all the things that come with that. Being married to a firefighter means willing to say goodbye week after week and always carrying that it could have been the last time you said goodbye. If I was guaranteed that he would come back every single time and never get hurt. Then yes, my outlook might shift a little. But that’s not our reality.

So, to be honest I am not sure how I like being married to a firefighter but like I said before I do know that I love being married to my husband. And that’s what gets us through the lifestyle of being firefighter and fire wife. And I wouldn’t change us for anything.

Royle Designs

This next fire owned feature blog is about Royle Designs. The owner Amy is a fellow fire wife who I have the privilege of knowing. Our husbands started off on hotshots together and both eventually going to work for Cal Fire. Amy and I didn’t know each other at first but met when we both gave birth to our kids at the hospital, just days apart. It was a fun experience to have another fire family in the next room.

Amy’s small business designing and creating started in the pursuit of trying to find something to do after her son was born. After about a year of making her dream a reality she opened up her business in 2017. It’s became something she loves to do. As expected being a fire wife and running a business isn’t easy. And when I asked about her business, Amy said,

“Making custom shirts for others and getting to let my creativity run wild has been a great distraction, however, it’s hard at times to work when I have a very curious 2-year-Old always by my side!!! My shirts are definitely made with lots of love from myself and my little helper.”

And since we are talking fire wife to fire wife I also had to ask the obvious question…what’s the hardest and easiest thing about being a fire wife? Her response in my opinion was right on.

“Hardest is definitely trying to comfort my son when daddy is gone for a long period of time, because he doesn’t understand why! Also, keeping a household running by myself!!! Easiest? I don’t think there is anything easy about it!!! I’m so proud of what he does and the example he is setting for our son, but it’s not easy!!! I just rely on fellow fire wives and God!!! Praying with Sawyer at night has become a ritual and it seems to comfort him.”

It was an obvious choice for me to support a local and fellow fire wife when I wanted to get shirts created for my girls and I. And Amy worked with me on every detail. I love the shirts and they came out exactly as I had envisioned. The inspiration came from one of my previous blog titles Raising Them Fire Strong. Thank you Amy for the beautiful shirts you brought to life for me. I would definitely recommend Royle Designs. She can be found on instagram @royledesigns1 it will be on the homepage where I keep my featured blog links for an easier way to find. Here are some pictures of the awesome shirts that she made. I will always be striving to do my best to raise them Fire strong and like Amy said it’s not easy.

Let it Rain!

Soooo excited that here in Cali we have started getting rain! Whoohoo!!! As I was sitting here catching up on laundry (the true never-ending story) front door open, thunder rolling, rain pouring and the smells of Fall filling my living room, I started to think. Some may wonder…Why is rain so exciting??? Because like me, I am so sure there are many other fire wives ready for a slow down in Fire Season! Although I think we aren’t sure what “Fire Season” looks like anymore. As I watch the rain pour it is like I am taking a deep breath of relief and letting go some stress I didn’t even know I was holding.

Throughout the early spring, summer months and beginning of Fall I know it’s there but never really thought about it until now. There is an anxiety that comes with the busiest part of the year. The what many call “Fire Season”. The mental gearing up of let’s see what happens and hope we don’t lose our minds in the process. It feels like I physically hold my breath every time he walks out that door, praying and hoping he comes back. I don’t even realize I do it sometimes.

I welcome the change of pace and hope there is a much-needed break for a lot of you fire wives. Some of you and your husbands just had one of the longest Summers. California lost it’s mind for a while. And in some cases is still catching up from all the devastation the wild fires brought. Definitely praying for Winter to actually be Winter this year. For me, this year has been a lot of adjusting, and as soon as it seems I have got my bearings we adjust again. Kind of like growing pains I guess. I think I may have somewhere this year gave up on figuring out a new normal and decided to go with the flow. To let go of my expectations and perfectionism.

The rain today has been a refreshment for my soul, and in a way, rekindled a little hope of I can do this. Giving me that extra boost of strength I didn’t even know I was needing. I want to use this time to be more intentional with my time with my spouse at home. Stop and focus on just building and strengthening our love and family. I feel it is always important no matter how strong the relationship to always be working on a deeper connection. There is so much time that is taken away from us. I want to make more of the time we have together. So that when we are apart I feel like I can take on the world and be the strength he deserves. The strength behind the badge. I encourage you today to think about doing the same. So with all that said LET IT RAIN!!!

Where’s Waldo???

As I was talking to my dad tonight on FaceTime and a funny subject briefly made its entrance and as fast was over. It got me thinking a little about how common this probably is and not just with fire wives but couples who have a demanding job. But I will stick to my side of being the fire wife and speak for myself cause I am sure there are many feelings that are stirred when people ask these questions.

My dad is a pastor and was recently at a funeral and was asked where his wife was. By his facial expression and tone I knew and recognized the feeling of he didn’t feel like explaining himself and why his wife was working and not able to make it. I laughed when he said this and said, “oh I know how that goes all too well.” We both kind of laughed and continued on with our conversation.

But it is so true. Any time my husband is not with me and I go somewhere and run into someone I get the “Is Josh working?” And if it’s during the summer months it will be followed by “What fire is he on?” These questions don’t really annoy me or anything because the fact that someone cares enough to ask I figure is a good thing. But recently I did a little informative on my Facebook because there is a third question that my husband and I both get on occasion that depending on how it is asked could rub me the wrong way. If my answers to the first two questions are “yes, he is working and he isn’t on a fire.” Then I get a funny look and a follow-up question of “why is he at the station and not on the fires?” To answer this on here I will repost what I wrote on Facebook…

“…Here is the answer in case any of you are wondering the same.
Cal Fire does not only respond to wildfires. They are first responders too. Medical aids, vehicle accidents, structure fires and yes wildfires local or not. All hours of the day/night. When a person calls 911 they are usually first on scene. Stations need to be staffed in order to help those who may encounter any of the above mentioned.
My husband’s normal shift is a straight 72hours. He stays at the station always ready to respond to a call at any hour. But with all the wildfires he can be covering stations for much longer than his 72 hour shift and can still be called out to staff the wildfires…Just because they are at a station does not mean they aren’t working. I wanted to clarify and hopefully shed some light on why there are firefighters at the station and not on wildfires.”

As frustrating or annoying as it may because we as fire wives deal with a lot of different things and emotions. Sometimes I will avoid social situation to avoid these questions altogether. I also feel like there should be a moment for education and helping others gain understanding. This may baffle some that people actually ask this but for others who do not live and breathe the fire life it could be new information. So, I usually keep my thoughts to myself and take the time to explain. I have learned that when someone is given the opportunity to learn and gain some knowledge on a subject the result than is that subject becomes less confusing, there’s less judgement and a new perspective. Knowledge is power my friends. Wherever your firefighter may be tonight, I pray they are safe and they get to come home soon. And if they are soak that time up and enjoy them.

(Fire Station visits)

Raising Them Fire Strong

It comes every shift but sometimes it’s farther apart when there are staffing patterns or wildfires raging. The dreaded goodbyes we say to our firefighters. The hardest part is watching the girls having to say bye to their dad. The “don’t forget your pillow dad” is something they love to remind him to get. Little do they know it’s that empty space where his pillow isn’t at that haunts me at night. They ask when he gets to come home and I always have to add “hopefully” in front of my answer. “Hopefully on Saturday.” or  “Hopefully soon.” We have a waving tradition. As he drives down our gravel road they wave from the window. Smudgy handprints on the windows is something that will always be imprinted in my heart. They’re starting to learn but mostly my 5 1/2 year old grasps it. But she has also grasped the fullness of his absence. Making it that much harder.

Right now in California the wildfires are raging. It’s shaping up to be a crazy and very busy summer. Just when we were getting used to him being home more and not having to commute almost seven hours to work. This last shift wasn’t necessarily hard for me but it was hard for my daughter. He was gone 11 days which in the fire wife world is nothing. Trust me we’ve been through much longer. But, like I said my oldest daughter is really understanding the weight of daddy not around. So this last time around day seven she broke down and just sobbed. I couldn’t help but cry with her because knowing that pain of missing him is something I know all too well. She told me she missed him and wanted to FaceTime him. Fortunately, for her he was available and not on a call or fire. It was hard for all of us. Because it was all out of our control to help her feel better. As a parent seeing your child hurting like that is not easy. But we did our best to bring her comfort. We also had different families visiting that week and I think the having to say goodbyes added to her feelings. The next day though we were able to visit him at the station he was covering. I explained to her that evening that we were very lucky to have seen him because it wont always be that way and that there were other little girls missing their daddies as well. I didn’t want to upset her but teach her this is the reality of being a fire family. That night we prayed for other fire families.

Every day lately if he is home my littlest who is 2 1/2 asks “you go to the fire station?” The more she grasps the more I dread of having two little girls struggling. Right now though I just have the one who has these moments. My youngest loves the movie Cars and is a little bit of a Tomboy. She thinks everything about the firetrucks are amazing and still lives in this imaginary land where daddy just gets to play with the fire truck all day. She’s always been a mammas girl so she doesn’t struggle as much since I am always with her. So, for now it’s just something she thinks is cool and fun. But I know eventually she will understand there’s more to what daddy does. The medical aids, vehicle accidents, structure and wild fires. What being a hero looks like.

So, back to the goodbyes during this crazy summer. It’s hard for this mama as well. While he was gone I laughed cause I had texted him lists of things I kept forgetting to catch him up on. Like ordering trash service and some other little things that he wouldn’t even know unless I told him. The day before he went back on shift I cried laying there cuddled on his chest. Dreading the not knowing of his return. Dreading the emotions of a little girl who I am learning how to help through this lifestyle. I felt so silly for letting my emotions get the best of me because like I told my daughter there are so many families right now who have been apart a lot longer. I guess the fear of having him gone those long weeks sometimes just caught up to me. The lonely nights, having to hold down the fort and make little and big decisions. Sometimes when I allow myself to really feel the weight of it, it’s a lot to bear. He had to leave extra early before the girls were awake and so far they’ve been okay. The goodbyes are hard when we don’t know when we will see him again especially when there’s not much of a goodbye at all. And we will miss him every moment while he is away.

But, the night before and the morning of shift and every day after I cover him in prayer. I’ve been more adamant about praying for the families who don’t have their firefighter there and of course I pray for the firefighters. These goodbyes are hard but they’re our life, our normal, the thing that separates us. The strength of keeping it all together while he is gone. I wont stop helping my children understand the importance of his career and how as a family we can stay Fire Strong. Fire wives, you are some of the strongest women I know. You are doing an amazing job and I know there are days that are harder than the rest. Sometimes it can hit you at the silliest of times like it did for me this past week. But you’re not alone and like I have said in previous posts, I am here for you, cheering for you and praying for you.

Wildfire Strong

Okay fellow fire wives/girlfriends this next feature blog is for you! But keep reading firefighters you may find this as an awesome gift for your lady. Ren is a fellow Cal Fire wife who has put together this amazing idea to help bring some joy via mail. It can definitely bring some smiles if you receive it when the hubby is gone. And even if he is home. I mean who doesn’t love some happy mail right? I know I do.

So here is what her business is all about. Fire wife/girlfriend subscription boxes. In these boxes you will find some pampering items. Some are fire related items and some are just simply, nice things. Also what’s super cool is that she also supports other fire wives by including fire wife made gifts and a summary of their businesses. Helping promote our sisters in the fire wife sisterhood. This July was the first month the subscription boxes launched.

When I received my box in the mail I was so excited to open it. It made me feel connected to something and someone who just understands you. Items that maybe only a firefighter wife/gf would appreciate. My favorite item that was in there were these tiny cards that you could write and leave a love note on to slip into your fireman’s bag before he leaves for work. I did do a live video of me opening it on my Instagram but I will leave a little mystery on here and maybe you’ll be intrigued to subscribe yourself.

I encourage you to go check her page out and give her a follow on social media. Just type in Wildfire Strong. I will also have a link on my homepage so you can go join in on the fun and get your monthly subscription box. You deserve a little pampering. And just one more cool thing is that these boxes can be given as gifts. So guys if you’re still reading you can send one to your lady and surprise her. I’m sure it would mean more then you know.

Seasons of Fire Seasons

My husband and I have been together for 11 1/2 years. And since 2008 he has been a firefighter. There’s one thing I have definitely learned throughout these years is that every single fire season is different. There can be extreme fire seasons and there can be the ones where we just get lucky or a little of both. I think it is important to remember that whatever season you’re in to not let yourself get annoyed with other fire wives if there husband never seems to be gone and yours is. It’s completely out of all of our control and no telling what the next season will bring.

There’s been seasons of endless strike teams and feeling overwhelmed by the fact I was always alone. The frustrations that come along with those seasons are so legit. There’s just no level of comfort you can have until your firefighter is home and safe by your side. But those seasons also bring a lot of growth and strengthen you. It’s amazing how much as fire wives we can handle. Because only God knows there are days in those seasons when you are just plain over it.

The seasons that are an even balance of gone and home. He is stuck on or out on a strike team but gets to be home for long periods in between it’s not too unbearable. These seasons are ideal. The best of both words in my opinion. But they can also be hard. Constant changes in schedules and never knowing when to plan or not plan. Every season has it’s battles.

Then there’s the seasons when your husband seems to be the only one who is never gone and happens to miss every staffing pattern and every strike team. You feel guilty but at the same time are ever so grateful. You watch your fire wives suffer and go through the struggles and feel like anything you say to help doesn’t matter because you have your husband home.

In every season I think there needs to be a level of understanding and mutual respect amongst the fire wives. Next season is never a guarantee it will be the same. We all have our struggles and times when we need help. Perhaps leaning on each other and balancing each other out will help lesson the stress of every season thrown our way. More then ever I believe there needs to be a sisterhood willing to truly be there for one another. Find those sisters and be them. They’re the only ones who get it even when they’re in a season that may look different then yours. They still just get it.

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer then a brother. Proverbs 18:24