Daddy Regression

We have all probably heard of kids going through different regression. When they start using the potty and all of a sudden they don’t want anything to do with it. They just revert back to a time where they were getting that extra attention for something.  I believe they subconsciously are trying to let you know they may not be comfortable  or agree with the situation they’re going through. And don’t know quite yet how to define what they’re feeling so they regress. At least that’s my understanding of it.

I noticed this is starting to happen with my almost two-year old and also happened when my almost five-year old was around that age. The difference is I went through it before so I am able to recognize it a little faster this time. But each child is so different I haven’t quite figured out YET how to help. Now that my daughter is starting to understand wait dad hasn’t been home a while she’s starting to show the signs of what I am now calling “daddy regression”. When my husbands schedule gets a little off track it can mess with all of our emotions and ware on us all. He’s gone a long time then he is home then gone and then home. He ,at have vacation time and then he is gone. No wonder a child would get frustrated about that. This last time he was home she didn’t want him holding her or picking her up. It was a little frustrating for him and I because he would try to be helpful and let me sleep in or try to pick her up so I could finish dinner or whatever. She straight out refused him and would cry and scream until he gave up. It’s like this gray area of development where they know what they’re feeling but can’t put it into words so they regress or act out. I want so badly for him to have that quality time with her and snuggles and love while he is home so it makes me sad to see him being totally rejected. But I also get what she is going through too. She is mad at the situation, therefore she takes it out on him and only wants what she knows. And that’s mom.

It’s definitely one of the harder things about being a fire wife. We cannot change schedules or make him be home more so she can learn it’s okay again to want and go to daddy. I know this phase of life will pass and in the future it will be something we look back at and probably laugh at how mean she was. And she’ll probably end up being a huge daddy’s girl. For now though it isn’t fun and it is hard. Emotionally and physically hard. Time is precious when our firemen are home and we try to make the most of it. And that’s what we will continue to do. She will eventually understand that this is part of our life. And until then she is just learning to be fire kid strong.

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