This blog has been buzzing around in my head but it wasn’t until I was having a conversation with a fellow fire wife that I realized it was something that I needed to write down. In life I feel we are all faced with these moments that when we are stretched and to our max we can let the little things bother us more then we should. And let me just say off the bat this is something I work on for myself and some days I fail miserably while others I pass the test. Some of us when we are long stretches of days, feeling like we can’t take much more on our own, we fall victim to the short fused reactions. I know I have been there.
We as fire girlfriends and wives spend a lot of the time holding the home together. For me this means mostly my children. They can be best friends and worst enemies at times. And it can be tiring. There are moments I just want one second to get something done, or hey even use the bathroom alone. I mean it’s the number one time when my kids want to know the most irrelevant things. They seem like they’re making up things to ask just to ask. Let’s not forget the days when I am so excited that I managed to get a house project done to turn around and find every toy on the living room floor. It’s these moments and these days I have to work hard and remind myself to choose my battles. To stop and ask myself is this worth getting frustrated over? Is it worth loosing my cool? No, it probably isn’t. But let’s make clear that there are those times when the answer may be yes, maybe not on loosing my cool but teaching my children they need to stop, listen and remember to be responsible and respectful. I have made leaps and bounds personally with this. I am with my children more then anyone else so have had the time to really let myself remember my own advice. And to put it to practice.
Which brings me to the next part. My firefighter. This “choose your battles” applies so much here too. When I have had a hard mom week or just a hard week in general, then he come home to my short fuse. Poor guy. But this area I have learned and grown a lot in as well. It wasn’t too long ago when I would get so frustrated at him when he would come home off of his shift and I would want him to be here and let me vent and talk. I would get upset that he didn’t have much of a response or seem to be engaged. But I began to understand the importance of decompression. I began to choose my battles. It wasn’t something I was told to try but something I learned how to get through experience. Was him coming home needing time to transition from his shift to home life more important then my need to vent. Could my emotions and the need to have a moment alone wait. The answer was yes. I felt like I had learned to cope enough without him and in my mind what was one more day. What would ultimately benefit my marriage? I have wrote more about this in My 24 Hour Rule blog. But it made all the difference. Choosing that time to let him get to the point where he was ready to engage and was fully decompressed. Am I saying my feelings and needs are less important then his? No, they are important especially if I am stretched thin and to the point of needing a break. What I am saying is my family and my marriage as a whole is more important. And getting upset didn’t get us anywhere. But that wasn’t the case every time he came home. Sometimes he was ready to dive in and be involved 100% and that also took some learning and choosing. Choosing the moments while he was gone and choosing them when he was home. I learned to choose my battles with my kids and also my marriage. It has helped me and my family.
(Rings compliments of groove life)
Choosing my battles has been a little drum I have been trying to march to in every situation in life right now and even in the past. This choosing has helped not only with my family and kids but with things that happen in everyday life. In the world of social media there is always something out there that we wont agree with. Most of it is not worth the sweat. We come across different personalities we may clash with, people who upset us. And In those times also remember to choose your battles. Is this a solution for every person who reads this? Probably not. My husband isn’t your husband, you are not me, and my kids are not your kids. The things that helped me in this fire life are simply that, “things that have helped ME.” But since it has helped me I am sharing it with you. So, I do not expect you to read this and understand or agree. But wherever you are at in this fire life, choosing your battles can be applied. Taking those simple moments of stopping and asking is this worth my anger or stress, can result in a healthier outcome. The season is on it’s way and I just want to encourage you to remember to the simple message to “choose your battles.”